Friday 25 April 2008

Four seasons in one day...

There's an ad in circulation at the moment for some hair or make-up product encouraging us to 'be a different girl every day' or something like that. Well, the copy writers for this should try being a mum. Forget being a different woman every day; it's my experience that you get to be a different mother every hour - at least...

For example, today I have been (in no particular order);

Knackered Mummy - when I woke up this morning after a fitful night of bad dreams involving spiders, crocodiles and missing Boys. Yes, you guessed it, I was dreaming of our forthcoming trip to Australia. Remind me again why we're willingly going to a country which 90% of the world's deadliest creatures call home?

Efficient Mummy - on my solo trip to the supermarket. What normally takes 45 mins to an hour when accompanied by the Boys was polished off in 25 minutes this morning. You could hardly see the trolley wheels as they whirred along the aisles. I dashed from one section to the next, remembering what I needed, finding it in double-quick time, and getting out of there so quickly that the till assistant barely had time to ask if I wanted to take the school vouchers. This morning's visit was at light speed compared to our normal progress round the store. This usually involves frequent stops to check the list due to failing memory (which I blame on the constant distractions of dealing with runny noses, requests for 'CAKE!', and the necessary passing of all purchases to Boy #1 so that he can put them in the trolley), and the compulsory stop at Starbucks to 'reward' (for which read 'bribe') the Boys for good behaviour with a chocolate coin. (And a skinny hot chocolate for me. Obviously).

Proud Mummy - when Boy #2 used his scooter for the first time on the way to the bakers a little later. Never mind that he walked rather than rode most of the way; he was simply as pleased as punch that he was not sitting in the buggy. He strutted importantly along the pavement, narrowly avoiding walking into walls and hedges, his tummy puffed out with pride. I imagine that I looked somewhat similar...

Frustrated Mummy - when Boy #1 decided he could scoot and eat bread at the same time, only to spend the next 5 minutes falling flat on his face as he discovered that - actually - he couldn't. (Must admit I was also - initially - Amused Mummy at the look of shock on his face when he pulled himself up from the pavement, piece of bread still intact and stuffed in his mouth, looking around indignantly as if to say; 'Who did that? It couldn't possibly have been MY fault...')

Push-over Mummy - when I found the Boys bouncing on our bed and instead of ordering them off it immediately, gave in to the sound of their delighted laughter and giggles and gave them 2 minutes more before getting off. And then another 2 minutes...

Creative Mummy - when I got the paints out for Boy #2 and helped Boy #1 make himself a mask out of biscuit packet, some tin-foil, string and glitter.

Resigned Mummy - when I found then myself covered in glue, glitter, and paint. And why is it that the activities take 20 minutes and the clearing up around 40?

Unsurprised Mummy - when Boy #2 needed a complete change of clothes after lunch due to over-enthusiastic spoon action with the soup.

And Slightly Embarrassed and hoping I wasn't spotted Mummy - when I realised after lunch that I had gone to the bakers with glitter and paint in my hair like some 80's throw-back...

19 comments:

  1. And then there's Blogging Mummy of course.

    Your life is filled with trips to the bakery and Starbucks. How glamorous are you? Oh, and the supermarket... perhaps not quite so glamorous.

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  2. Even though I've only been up for a few hours, this post has me feeling like Inadequate Mummy for some reason. PLaying with glitter. I don't even think we have any!!!

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  3. I think I must be Wistful Mummy - thinking back to the days when my two wanted to play with glitter and glue and all things messy. The XBox just isn't the same, somehow.

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  4. If you had seen me wiping tomoto soup off my skirt and picking paint out of my hair, 'glamorous' might not have been the word that came to mind, Iota...

    EPM, please don't say that - the last thing I want to is make you feel inadequate (you book writing, blogging, tv presenting, mother of 3 you...)

    GPM - I know it. Which is why I blog about it.

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  5. We don't own glitter. But I do have an entire cart devoted to art supplies.

    And today I can be described as zombie mommy, mommy that is too tired from work yesterday to do much of anything and still suffering from the migraine I got from yesterdays work overload.

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  6. Hi Ped, I think the possession of glitter has more to do with my girly tendencies than to do with a particular wish for it by the Boys... Hope you feel better and the migraine has disappeared by now.

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  7. i'm with expat mum, I am most definitely inadequate Mummy, and Shouty Mummy, but - and here's the trump card - I was Took them to the Beach Mummy today, so can probably coast along on that for a good week or two.
    glitter? have you never been a primary school teacher? NEVER GIVE THEM GLITTER.
    Pigx

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  8. Iam a slightly embarrassed granny for living so far away and never getting glitter in my hair and being glad bout that. Girl, I would not have the patience and fortitude that you have. And you have to keep smiling all the tie too, as if it is fun!

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  9. Hi Pig, well, I know that about the glitter NOW of course. Why didn't you mention it before though? And am very impressed by the beach trip. The closes we get to wide open spaces is Hyde Park - when it's not raining, of course!

    Irene, it is fun. It is fun. ALL THE TIME (except when it's not, and obviously I don't blog about that. Oh, who am I kidding - that's pretty much all I blog about...)

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  10. Your post has got me singing that song - For Every Season - Turn Turn Turn...there is a reason - turn turn turn...

    Great........I can't get the damn thing out of my head.

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  11. Oh I just loved this post. I don't know what to comment on first. I realated to EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. Right down to the skinny hot chocolate and glitter paint.

    Don't forget "Brilliant Mummy", because you make me laugh and feel like I'm not alone...

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  12. Hi Aims, don't worry, I can suggest any number of other annoying songs to replace that one, like - oh, you want me to keep quiet?

    Carolyn, thanks, and you are so not alone. They may not admit it but every mum feels this way more often than they care to admit... (and am still finding glitter, btw. On my jacket. On my handbag. On Boy #1#s scooter handle-bar...)

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  13. Oh good I'm not the only push over mummy then? Makes me feel better.

    Yes, we are the versatile mommies these days are we not?

    What a creative post and I love how you weaved your day into each type of mommy you have been.

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  14. Hi J's Mommy, thanks for the nice comment and don't worry - some of us might talk a good game but we're all push-overs some of the time!

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  15. Dear Blue Peter Mummy, I never, ever get the glitter all over me, Darling Husband always gets plastered in it.
    We usually tell him after he's been out working again, or to the pub, or to the vets, it's sometimes our only source of laughter that day!
    I had nightmare like that before we went to OZ, I'm telling you, those spiders are bloody BIGGG!

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  16. Thanks Frog - I really, really needed to hear that...


    Have been having a bit of a nightmare with my internet connection, btw, so it may be a while before I get to post again. I think we may be at the mercy of the BT service engineers - so heaven help me...

    See you soon!

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  17. Hi Potty Mummy

    Don't you find it's when your shopping trolley, which has a wonky wheel, is full and you are at the furthest corner of Sainsbury's and your four year old says "Mummy I need a wee.."

    Totally relate to all of your mummys.

    Love your blog.

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  18. Hmmm... you are right... all these mummies get rolled into one and everything gets sorted (because we are amazing, resourcesful and versatile). Then daddy takes over and what do the kids and daddy do? watch TV.

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  19. Hi Belle, thanks for the visit and the kind words. And I totally know what you mean about the supermarket - though in our case it's usually when we've just got to the park and it's a 10 minute walk to the nearest loo.

    Hi Grit - oh, so true. Though in Husband's defence that really doesn't happen so often - any more...

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